the 8th– By James Longstrider the excuse maker.
Mr. Pyramid Hat guy.” Harry Mason addressed a man watering his
Azaleas, “have you seen my daughter? She’s been missing for a
while and you’re the only non-lamppost person I haven’t asked yet.”
“I’m not pyramid head, I’m Raiden, god of Thunder,
Pyramid Head’s house is just across the street.” Raiden said as
he pointed to a house with a perfectly manicured lawn and well kept
garden, “He’s real handy with that sword of his, but he’s off on
his day job right now as a hot dog vendor, however for his night job
he becomes a horrible monster.”
“You don’t mean?”
“Yes, at night, he becomes a.. a.. Tax
Auditor!” Raiden finished as lightning crashed in the
background and thunder roared. “Hehe, oops.” Raiden said
sheepishly as the International House Of Chainsaws store exploded
from being struck by lightning.
“Well, I guess my
daughter left then, thanks for your help.” Harry said as he
walked to a car and drove off.
“Wait Daddy, you left me
at the cafe and in the last town over,” shouted a little girl,
chasing after Harry while short on breath, “and then you drove
off, wait, that’s not even your jeep, you ran it in to the median
when you came into this town, DADDY! STOP!” she screamed as
she chased after her father as he drove off in the car he hijacked
which he abruptly drove off the nearest endless pit, and the girl
“Next town meeting we need to see about doing
something about those roads.” Raiden said to himself as he
watched the car followed by the little girl plummet to what may very
well be their deaths. “Either that or we should do something
about the packs of skinless dogs.” He finished as he continued
to water his shrubberies.